From Witch to Bitch

In the middle ages, any woman who annoyed any one around herself was branded a 'witch'.

That got outlawed.

So today, she is simply called a 'bitch'.

Over the centuries only one consonant has changed but the usage is always in the same context.

Four reasons why I will never have an arranged marriage!

Well, I have nothing against being introduced to suitable boy by my parents just as I don’t mind going on a date with someone my friends suggest, I might meet the love of my life in both the cases, but I do have certain problems with the manner in which arranged marriages work in this country.

1. My first problem is that why can’t a guy find a girl for himself for keeps? Why does he need his parents to do that for him? Is he a man or a joke? (Ok, that’s directly translated from Hindi into English!)
2. Next, How would I know if he is not some homosexual getting married to a girl just to please his parents? I have no intentions of being stuck in a loveless or a sexless marriage! Yuck! In case of a love marriage scenario, you can be assured of the fact that your boyfriend has the ‘hots’ for you!
3. I am fair. Not like the Caucasians, but by regular Indian standards. In India, many men and their parents are obsessed about having a fair wife/ daughter-in-law to ensure that their future generations are good looking. (In India, you are good-looking if you are fair, that suffices.) I refuse to let my children being subjected to racism even before they are conceived or even before their parents had the chance to sleep with each other!
4. Most importantly, I want to get married at my own risk, for my own sake and at my responsibility. No one other than my husband and myself shall be responsible for what happens between the two of us, even if we get a divorce! (I hope that never happens) I have a few friends who said that they will opt for an arranged marriage as in case of a divorce, it is their parents who are to be blamed and not them as they had, like good children, obeyed their parents wishes, and hence it is the parents who had made a wrong decision. What spineless, heartless creeps! Don’t get married if you can’t shoulder responsibilities! I don’t ever want to meet or worse marry a guy who thinks in this manner. Never!

Same Language Subtitling for higher levels of literacy

Literacy is roughly defined as the ability to read and write for a person who is 15 years of age and above. The literacy rate of India stands at an abysmal 61% as reported by the 2001 census. Furthermore for males it is 73.4% and that for females is 47.8%. Dr. Brij Kothari has developed an ingenious method to counter this problem. He has set up PlanetRead that uses “Same Language Subtitling (SLS)” on popular film songs all over the country on TV in the same language as the audio. PlanetRead’s “karaoke” approach to literacy provides recurring and habitual reading practice to over 200 million early-literates in India. In addition, nearly 270 million illiterate people are motivated to become literate. Currently, “Same Language Subtitling (SLS)” is used only on DD shows like Chayageet and Chitrahaar. HBO, STAR Movies and Zee Studios also use them for their movies. If all TV channels in India start employing this method, we will reach our goal of 100% literacy faster. Our hindrances will only be the lack of access to television in many parts of the country and absence of electricity in many areas. Consider this, according to the article In India, the Golden Age of Television Is Now of Vikas Bajaj in the New York Times, there are roughly 105 million homes with televisions in India , up from 88 million in 2000. The current number of television households is about the same as in the United States , though for India that amounts to only about half of the country’s households, compared with 98 percent in the United States . Look at the potential effect Same Language Subtitling will have on our population. It will also prove good for young school going children who will progress faster in school. The other group that stands to benefit is people who cannot hear and those who are hard at hearing. India is a very populous country (estimated 1 billion plus population) so the number of deaf people can not be definitely estimated. It is known to be in the millions - some estimates are as high as 60 million. Same Language Subtitling helps deaf people (with an access to television) to benefit from TV programs. Although India is rapidly developing, there is still plenty of poverty, and thus a high rate of deafness. Improving rates of literacy will help reduce poverty and a whole lot of other problems. Join hands against illiteracy. Tell your friends about it. Forward this email to them as well as your favorite TV channels. Some email addresses are colorstv@viacom18.com, sales@indya.com, zeemarathi@zeenetwork.com, zeetelevision@zeenetwork.com.

We have to ask our TV channels to support Dr. Brij Kothari’s initiative. For more information http://planetread.org/home.php

The Great Indian Parental Dream

Day and time: Early Monday morning

Place: Panvel rickshaw stand

Destination: Rasayani

Heading to college as usual after the weekend spent at home, I was waiting for the mandatory 10 people to fill into the ‘tum-tum’ or the 10-seater Vikram rickshaw, which is the second line of transport in Indian towns and villages, after the ubiquitous ST buses. The ‘tum-tum’ leaves only when it is filled to capacity. A lady seated herself on the seat facing me. She was a typical sari-clad, bony, Maharastrian, village domiciled, married young woman. She was accompanied by her 5 year old daughter. She was observing me with curiosity. She finally inquired about the place I was heading to. I replied that I was going to Rasayani. She wanted to know whether I lived there. I answered that I was a student at S. S. Patil College of Agricultural Business Management in Rasayani, the local MLA, Vivekananda Patil’s college, and that I stayed at the hostel there. She seemed awestruck by my large travel bag and by the fact that I was living away from family. She exclaimed that it is amazing how a girl like me was living away from home for the sake of education. I responded by saying that I was not alone. There are plenty of girls and boys who do the same. She then started a monologue about the educational status of her family and the virtues of education.

“Education is so important. No one can succeed without it. It is only after we educate ourselves that we can improve in life. We women should be very particular about our education. My husband has studied up till class 12. I have completed my Bachelor of Arts in Marathi literature. (She had an air of pride at this point). We have enrolled our daughter in an English medium school. Only English medium schooling makes sense in this day. (Pointing at her daughter) But she has no interest in her studies. (Can you) talk to her about it.”

I asked her the class in which her girl was currently. I frankly saw no point in explaining the necessity of regular studies to a child so young that she had no concern about the state of her clothes (While playing, her frock had come up right to her belly) The lady said that the girl was in Upper Kindergarten. I replied that the child was too young to take studies seriously and must play to her heart’s content at this age. My chatty co-passenger’s next response left me speechless.

“Oh no, she must start studying hard. The girl must at least become a doctor.”

God Almighty! "Child must become a doctor" - The Great Indian Parental Dream.

I struggled to keep myself from laughing but controlled myself by thinking that the woman was wonderful. Despite of living in a locality where child marriage is still rife, she has big dreams for her daughter. Whether her girl enters medical school, we will never know, but she will ensure that her daughter completes her formal education. Amen.

See original photo here.

I hate you , but I wanna touch you!

The infamous Indian caste system has brought us enough ignominy which we could have done without. This caste system had leaded us to ostracize and to brand certain members of our society as untouchables. This has confined them, till this day, to the fringes of the social order, especially in rural and semi-urban areas. But yet, I wonder why we keep hearing about cases of Dalit women being raped by ‘upper caste men’? If these ‘upper caste’ people do not even want the shadows of a Dalit to fall on them, what gets them to the point of forcefully having intercourse with a Dalit woman? Does that happen without touching the woman? Doesn’t this type of physical contact ‘contaminate’ those ‘upper caste’ rapists? When I would read about such cases, this question would pop up in my head like those irritating pop-ups which keep hampering our web-surfing activities. But I was reminded of a song that I had heard a few years ago. Someone had come out with this unimpressive and incomprehensive song whose lyrics went like “Mallika, I hate you, I hate you. But I wanna touch you, but I wanna touch you.” Those lyrics simply went over my head at that time but I never imagined that they would help me understand a social issue which continues to irritate and infuriate me. The acts of rape and abuse are a way of asserting that the rapist is superior to the victim and therefore more powerful whereas the victim cannot save herself/himself and hence is powerless, inferior. These acts just help the villain to reassure his own insecurities and to feel better about himself. The hatred towards the victim helps to justify the act of rape saying that she deserved it, whereas the rapist also finds an outlet for suppressed sexual desires. The lower caste tag makes this justification easier. Convenient isn’t it?

Communication and confusion

Our class 9 English professor Madam Gonzalez had arrived in Thane for the first time. She was hunting for a house. She was told about a flat in K. Villa. She reached the place with her son and asked a neighborhood shopkeeper for the owner of that place.

Shopkeeper replied, “Aap unse nahi mil payenge, who aadmi Gujarat gaya hai.”

On hearing this Madam Gonzalez demanded, “Thik hai, woh vapas kab aaye ga? Hume unka ghar kiraye pe chahiye.”

The shopkeeper looked scandalized. He shopkeeper responded, “Madam aap kaisi baat kar rahi ho? Aadmi Gujarat gaya hai. Aadmi Gujarat jaane ke baad vapas kaisa aaye ga?”

It was Madam’s turn to be scandalized. She answered, “Kyun vapas nahi aaye gaa? Uska ghar hai idhar! Thik hai, agar woh vapas nahi aane waala toh koi contact number hoga naa uska. Hume usse baat karni hai.”

The shopkeeper was perplexed.

He retorted, “Aap samajhti nahi hai kya? Idhar ghar hai toh kya hua? Gujarat jaane ke baad koi aadmi vapas nahi aata.”

Madam was about to snap back at him when her son interrupted, “Mamma, he did not say ‘Gujarat’ gaaya, he said ‘Gujar’ gaya.”

She narrated this incidence in class while she was teaching us the importance of accurate pronunciation and active listening.

Royally Obsessed

Circa 1949 We, the nation of India accepted and decided to be a SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC when we adopted our constitution on 26th of November, 1949. The Iron man of India, Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel spent a good amount of his time knowledge and astute statesmanship to unify India as we know it today by convincing a hoard of princely states to blend in and give up their titles.

Circa 2008 The Board of Control for Cricket in India launches the Indian Premier League, the biggest and most spectacular cricketing event in cricketing history. The team names were announced and I couldn't help but notice that they were just reeking of monarchy. 8 teams announced and 4 were indisputably monarchical in nomenclature. The Bangalore Royal Challengers, Rajasthan Royals, Chennai Super Kings and King's XI Punjab. The last two being the most ludicrous. The name Chennai Super Kings immediately suggests that every member of the team is a King. I just couldn't help but wonder how can 11 Kings peacefully co-exist on the same turf? The Wadia & Zinta owned team is even sillier. King's XI Punjab! Pray, tell me, which king rules Punjab? Is the Indian Government listening? Just kidding!!! Vijay Mallya's team's name is comprehensible as it is a brand promotion and reinforcement exercise. Smart way to get around the juvenile legislation that prohibits liquor advertisements. The Rajasthan Royals clearly draw a reference to the former Royal family of Jaipur which still own palaces in Rajasthan. We simply can't give up our fascination for monarchy. However, the funniest and silliest title is undoubtedly that of Shah Rukh Khan and Juhi Chawla's (yes Juhi also) Kolkata Knight Riders. Knights existed in Medieval Europe, never in India! And most definitely, no Knights in Kolkata! Then why Knight Riders? I guess it's still a long time before we become passionate about Democracy just as much as the Americans and the French but I am not complaining.