A Hairy Tale

Friend: Hi Natalia!

Me: Hi! Howz life?

Friend: Bad.

Me: What happened? Did you put up a few kilos? You seem to be in good shape.

Friend: No re! Stop kidding! I have a problem.

Me: Oh! If it is not weight, then it must be a boy.

Friend: Are you a mind reader or what?

Me: Nope. I am experienced. That expression on your face says that you are pining for your Prince Charming but you never told me that you have a guy.

Friend: That is because I don’t have one. I started liking one recently. But…

Me: He doesn’t notice you, doesn’t seem to be interested in you. Oh he doesn’t look at you!

Friend: (sarcastically) Thank you for completing my sentence. So what should I do now? How do I get him to at least look at me?

Me: Hey I am not a love guru nor am I an agony aunt.

Friend: Natalia help!

Me: (Sensing danger) Ok Ok. Let me think. Hey you have nice long hair.

Friend: Thank you for the compliment but how does that help me?

Me: Move around with your hair open when he is around. That will help you definitely.

Friend: How do you know? That advice sounds silly to me!

Me: You are a bad observer. Boys love girls with their hair open.

Friend: How do you know? Tell me that first!

Me: Haven’t you seen that Parachute Coconut Hair oil ad, with the jingle Gorgeous Hameshaa (Forever)?

Friend: So?

Me: That ad is from a man’s point of view. It’s a man singing about his favorite girl/ woman or maybe wife or girlfriend. It’s very different from other hair product ads which always extol the virtues of Shampoo X or Hair oil Y or Hair Colour Z! And those ads always have women talking about the benefits of the product. The Gorgeous Hameshaa campaign is different; it’s about a guy admiring his girl doing different things with her hair. Many of the women in that ad are with their hair open. That means that men prefer their women with their hair open. Women with long flowing hair excite men. I am sure!

Friend: You sure? Serious?

Me: Yup. I think open hair would work better than a low-cut T-shirt anyway!

Friend: Yuck. Stop joking! I am serious.

Me: Thousand apologies! (With folded hands, she was offended)

Friend: So tomorrow, while he will be hanging around the canteen during recess, I go there with my hair open, all prep and proper. He is generally there with his friends. I hope he notices me and likes me. We might even be able to get to the point of talking in a few weeks.

Me: Oh! (Sneakily) But let me warn you, even his friends will be excited if they see you like that. Open hair excites all men. By the way, excitement in such cases generally means an erection.

Friend: (Furiously) NATALIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At that point, I ran for my life.