Friday, August 15, 2008

Four reasons why I will never have an arranged marriage!

Well, I have nothing against being introduced to suitable boy by my parents just as I don’t mind going on a date with someone my friends suggest, I might meet the love of my life in both the cases, but I do have certain problems with the manner in which arranged marriages work in this country.

  1. My first problem is that why can’t a guy find a girl for himself for keeps? Why does he need his parents to do that for him? Is he a man or a joke? (Ok, that’s directly translated from Hindi into English!)
  2. Next, How would I know if he is not some homosexual getting married to a girl just to please his parents? I have no intentions of being stuck in a loveless or a sexless marriage! Yuck! In case of a love marriage scenario, you can be assured of the fact that your boyfriend has the ‘hots’ for you!
  3. I am fair. Not like the Caucasians, but by regular Indian standards. In India, many men and their parents are obsessed about having a fair wife/ daughter-in-law to ensure that their future generations are good looking. (In India, you are good-looking if you are fair, that suffices.) I refuse to let my children being subjected to racism even before they are conceived or even before their parents had the chance to sleep with each other!
  4. Most importantly, I want to get married at my own risk, for my own sake and at my responsibility. No one other than my husband and myself shall be responsible for what happens between the two of us, even if we get a divorce! (I hope that never happens) I have a few friends who said that they will opt for an arranged marriage as in case of a divorce, it is their parents who are to be blamed and not them as they had, like good children, obeyed their parents wishes, and hence it is the parents who had made a wrong decision. What spineless, heartless creeps! Don’t get married if you can’t shoulder responsibilities! I don’t ever want to meet or worse marry a guy who thinks in this manner. Never!


Volksgrenadier said...

You do realize that as an indian girl in india, you get the worst deal in the contract called marriage dont you? so its rather imaterial weatehr its arranged or love :P

prasenahire said...

Prasenjeet: I do agree with Nats view wt she thinks is correct why cant a boy find a suitable girl for him and vice versa, why does he need parents to do this things because its his life, he is gng 2 live it , not parents.

Natalia said...

Thanks Prasenjeet! I have one more person who supports me. My parents don't agree with me on that point!

shruti said...

Hey Nats .. I really liked what you wrote and I agree with your thought process .. marriage is a big responsiility because you are responsible for the mental , physical and spiritual heallth of another human being and your actions have a effect on his decisions and vice versa . Further its becomes a bigger challenges when one decides to have children because you are to shape a life , a character from scratch. Those who shirk responsibility and decision making even before entering into an alliance as demanding as marriage arent well equipped to lead a wholesome life . These are the ones who end in divorces , are unwilling to work for making the relationship beautifula nd magical and responsible for everyone cribbing that marriages dont work . Know yourself and know who you are and what you are looking for and you will find that perfect mate and only you and you alone can know yourself completely . If done in the right spirit marriage can be a very beautiful and sacred bond .

gautam said...


Natalia said...

I totally agree with you Shruti. BTW, I prefer being refered to as Natalia, not Nats!

Natalia said...

Mr. Gautam, I take that as a compliment although I am not interested in marrying you.

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